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CAKE COMA, or FML Friday

All hell broke lose inside my mouth yesterday. I could not stop eating cake. Cream-cheese icing is my enemy. My pants today are tighter than ever and I hate myself a little.

HOWEVER, I still dragged my ass to the gym with Liz and did about an hour of strength work. Realistically, that was closer to 40 minutes with rest and whatnot, which is why I only counted that much on my tracker.

All the icing and cake are estimates because I really have no idea. My first piece was very small, but then I had gobs of things. I regret it. It was yummy but really not worth it considering my weigh-in tomorrow. I've been very good today though and managed not to snack last night probably because my body has enough sugar reserves in it for two full months, so those are wins I guess. Chugging water today, going to hit the gym for a C25K workout after work, and cross my fingers to at least maintain my weight in the morning.

Weekend challenges: Derby party (which I am doing the shopping/snack layout form so really there is no excuse) and lunch Saturday at Dixie Crossroads, where they have seafood and vegetables. So again: no excuse. INO!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! XOXO


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2014 05:16 pm (UTC)
I thought you threw away the PB?! You are no longer allowed to buy it!

Ugh, damn the office temptations! Maybe keep gum with you or at your desk to pop in your mouth next time something like that happens? :\
May. 2nd, 2014 05:19 pm (UTC)
I threw away the one at my apartment but I have one at work. I can't throw it away because other people use it too, wahhhh.

Good idea. I wish I could keep a few pieces of dark chocolate around and that would help but you know me. Ugh.
May. 2nd, 2014 09:41 pm (UTC)
Toss the PB and act innocent. Lol.

I like Kitzzy's idea of keeping a photo of how the dress looks now around. Maybe have her take the pic of literally, just the back, and set it as your phone background? I mean, even if Josh saw it's not like it gives much away. Ya know?
May. 2nd, 2014 11:30 pm (UTC)
Lmao I can't. I sort of bought it to replace someone's I was nomming off of, oops. I'm an awful coworker.

Hmmm IDK the phone pic is risky because the top detail is kind of the main part of the dress' allure I think. But the picture in general is something I will definitely do next time I'm at Mels', which isn't this Monday but next. Any other ideas on where I could keep it? Maybe print it out and keep it in my purse...
May. 2nd, 2014 06:14 pm (UTC)
Could you physically not stop eating cake ...?

Maybe you need a photo of your wedding dress somewhere easily accessible that you can look at to remind you why you are doing this. Do you already have it? If so, maybe have someone take a photo with you in it, showing how it doesn't fit, to remind you what will happen if you don't stick to plan? I'm sure part of the problem is that is still pretty far away, so motivation isn't as high, but you also have a lot to lose so you don't have that much time to waste.

I'm not sure if telling you about my current success will motivate you, or if putting your current weight into context (re how much Jason weighs). I've refrain from doing either because it feels like rubbing it in, but if that's what you need I can do that.

Even if I don't always reply, I am reading so you tell me how I can help and I'll get on it! {HUGS}
May. 2nd, 2014 06:17 pm (UTC)
Could you physically not stop eating cake ...?

Lol this is a really great way to think about it. Obviously I'm letting my emotions control me. :-/

I think that's a good idea. My friend Mels has it at her apartment and I'm going over there not this Monday but next, so I'll have her take a photo of the back with it only zipped up to whatever point it goes to right now. I really don't have a lot of time, I know.

Dude you can tell me! You know me, I like hearing that stuff. It motivates me. ♥ Thank you. You're the best.
May. 2nd, 2014 06:38 pm (UTC)
So after Jason got his fitbit from work for Christmas, he decided to start tracking his food in MyFitnessPal and talked me into doing it with him (I hate tracking). But I love MFP and it's so easy to use (and along with Pact it earns me a little money) so I stuck with it. We also got a Withings scale, which automatically syncs our weight wirelessly. Having all these integrated apps where I can see the big picture and that sync with the incentive program at work and actually earns me money is a HUGE motivator for me.

I was at 131.8 when we got that scale in January, which isn't awful but 130 is around my threshold for when I need to start paying attention because that then quickly becomes 135. Ideally I like to be around 125. So I set 125 as my goal with no due date. I usually don't focus on due dates, but did have my own wedding in mind and thought it would be great if I was at goal by then, but no biggie if I wasn't. I weighed 123.3 on my wedding day! Of course, that didn't last through the honeymoon, but hovering around 125-126 was fine by me. Since I had reached my goal, I thought I'd keep at it (since this is a lifestyle change, right?) and see if I could get to 120. I have no idea the last time I was anywhere near 120 and I really was convinced my body just didn't like being under 125. I got close (120.7) a few weeks ago and was really looking forward to seeing 119.x on the scale, but then it went back up (probably a race or something). Anyway, today I weighed 120.1!! I'm practically at goal! I didn't even really gain much (just maintained) after last week's marathon! I have this Relay this weekend (like Ragnar but a different one) so I am sure I'll be back up next week, but I can see that sub-120 in sight!

So that's the positive success story. Here's the putting it into perspective story … Jason has also been killing it at the weight loss and getting fit. But it's so much easier for him because he doesn't have a sweet tooth and is a robot :-P He went to yoga yesterday and finally shed the water weight from last weekend and this morning weighed 149.9. So do you really want to weigh more than Jason? :-P I don't think so! So put down the cream cheese and give me 20 push ups!

Oh hey! How about every time you want sugar, you need to do push ups, or squats or lunges or [insert your least favorite exercise here] before you can eat any of it.
May. 2nd, 2014 07:19 pm (UTC)

Holy shit dude, you're my hero! Now I feel like such a fat ass, but in a good way. You and I were the same weight and at similar fitness levels at one point in time like WTFFFF! You are awesome. I'm motivated hearing this (especially the Jason part, which I knew was coming but still, omfg). Josh was 150ish at one point, which is good for his height since he's 5'11", but I think he's gained about 10 lbs. too. INTERVENTION TIME! To his credit though, he gets up every morning and runs a mile.

Anyway, damn girl I'm so proud of you. I know if you can do it, I can too, because we have run together and shared food tips, etc. My willpower is such a bitch, but I know I have control...IDK why I keep choosing not to wield it. I need to keep practicing what I would tell someone else in my position...like from the outside, I know I'd look at myself and be like, "Gurl, why do you need more icing? You know that shit is just butter and sugar and cream cheese, right? The scale will not forgive you." Something in my brain whispers, "Oh one more spoonful won't hurt." Bitch, please.

PUSH-UPS ARE HARD. Can I do sit-ups and lift weights? My abs hurt.

This reply was all over the place and I apologize.

P.S. My coworker just asked me if I wanted some M&Ms and I said NO, with confidence. But not bitchy. Maybe bitchy. I need to apologize.

P.P.S. You should get the MyVegas app for your phone if you don't have it yet. WIN REAL VEGAS REWARDS!
May. 2nd, 2014 07:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks! =D

I have the MyVegas app and have been playing it like its my job. Ok, not really, but quite a bit.

See, if you think push-ups are hard, that's why you should choose those. Because either you get in some push ups or they'll help you realize that the treat is not worth that much suffering :) You can do girly push-ups if you want.
May. 2nd, 2014 07:55 pm (UTC)
Welcome! ♥ LOL I've only had it a day and a half but I've been on it a lot too. I have almost 2,000 loyalty points, awww yeah. What are you at?

Sad reality: Even girly push-ups are rough for me right now. But you're right, that means I should do them more. I wish I could afford a personal trainer. I know I don't need it but it would help. Or you could just move back and stay from now until my wedding to motivate me/kick my ass. That's reasonable, right? :p
May. 3rd, 2014 01:13 am (UTC)
Girly push ups are no picnic for me either, but they get less rough the more you do them. But my idea is to put have to do something you don't want to do before you can eat the sweets so you think twice about eating it.
May. 3rd, 2014 02:18 am (UTC)
I will do girly push-ups next time I want sweets as long as I'm not at work. Lol. Thanks. :p
May. 2nd, 2014 09:40 pm (UTC)
Just here to say Jason's weight is my goal weight so you can all STFU. LOL.
May. 2nd, 2014 11:31 pm (UTC)
LOL aw dude you at 150 looks worlds different than how I look at 150, seriously. You look amazing at that weight.
May. 3rd, 2014 12:49 am (UTC)
Bwahaha. I was thinking the same thing! I was all with her until that line, and then I was like: "Well, crap. My lowest weight ever as an adult was 145. Guess I'm a fat ass."

I'm all for positive reinforcement, not into shaming whatsoever.

Now on to my actual comment: Jen, I think your issue is clearly mental/emotional far more than physical. Your diet is the hardest aspect for you - you know you're physically tough and even though you've gained weight, you're still fit! I have no clue how to help you ignore the impulse voice, because 10 tbsp of peanut butter is clearly a binge and NOT rational!

However - I do have one suggestion. I think a common thing I've noticed over the years is that you are definitely an "all or nothing" person. You are either SUPER strict on your diet (to the point of not really allowing yourself anything fun in your daily food intake) OR binging on chocolate, icing and peanut butter. I think if you incorporated small portions of sweets into your daily routine (and planned for that little treat each day), you might have less of an issue with binging. It's far easier to work off 2-6 points of a treat rather than 67 points of a binge.

<3 Also - I just joined Planet Fitness! WOOHOO!

May. 3rd, 2014 01:09 am (UTC)
I'm sorry. I did not mean to shame anyone :( but I knew that was near her starting weight that she did not want to be at and she told me she wanted me to give her tough love.

Nothing wrong with being at that weight at all. Everyone has different goals and different body compositions and wears weight differently.
May. 3rd, 2014 02:19 am (UTC)
Agreed. Like I know you're 5'1"-5'2" and pretty small-boned like me, so 120-130 definitely makes sense for you. Liz/Danielle, I don't think that number would look right on either of you.
May. 3rd, 2014 03:38 pm (UTC)
Yeah, my original goal was 130 back in the day. I got to 145 and although I still had some flab in my midsection, I really can't imagine being even 15 pounds less than that. I think when I'm fit, I end up with a more "athletic" frame since I'm just a curvy body type in general. I'm just not ever meant to be a twig - too much boobs for that. I've set my goal to be around 150 because I was able to maintain that weight for a long time. I think it's a happy spot for my body, and looking back at those photos, I think I look amazing!

Me at 145... aka... two of my motivation photos:
Phi Sig Banquet 2008. - I can still wear that dress because it's stretchy, but it does NOT look the same. LOL.

Beach bod 2008
May. 3rd, 2014 10:03 pm (UTC)
That makes a lot of sense because ummm yeah you looks AMAZING in those, wow! And you seriously haven't aged a day either.
May. 3rd, 2014 01:23 am (UTC)
I agree with the all or nothing comment. I have something sweet almost every single day, wether it be a few dark chocolate hershey kisses, ice cream, cookie, whatever, but I budget for it. That is why I like MFP because it tracks but calories in and out. So I can see just how much extra that run or bike or walk is and if I want more sweets, I need to not sit on my ass all day :)
May. 3rd, 2014 02:19 am (UTC)
I should pre-track my sweets too, but maybe give it a month or so until I allow sweets in the apartment, hah.
May. 3rd, 2014 02:23 am (UTC)
Kitzzy gets me - she knows I take to tough love well. And she always delivers it very matter-of-factly and with solutions, which is really helpful for me. She is my Jillian Michaels lol.

You are 100% right on all of this. That is what happens when Gryffindor passion and stubbornness and meet Slytherin perfectionism and ambition. I do need to budget for sweets and be OK with that much. Thanks. :o)

YAYAYAY!!! I'll see you Monday night! ♥
May. 9th, 2014 02:43 am (UTC)
I'm in suspense....did it work?! Budgeting for some sweets every day, that is.

And yeah, add me to the FML I'D MAIM TO BE 150 AGAIN club too. Well, perspective, right? Even 175 is better than 208, which is where I started this time.
May. 9th, 2014 04:37 pm (UTC)
Ummmmm...yeah, no, LOL. I've been an asshole this week to about the same level as last week, BUT I'M STILL COUNTING. Slow and steady progress? IDK. We'll see.

TRUDAT bb. Perspective FTW. I'm going to be so stoked to see 130s again.
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )


wedding: kiss close-up
Jen is losing it.

About Me

32-year-old Nutella activist, full-time grammar enforcer, and part-time runner. I live for cupcakes, Walt Disney World, terrible puns, the '90s, Harry Potter, spelling bees, pumpkin anything, fluffy animals, and B horror films. I write.

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