Jen is losing it. (jenislosingit) wrote,
Jen is losing it.

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*Peeks out from under a mountain of cheesecake*

OK, I promise it's not actually as bad as that. Since our last episode, I've been pretty much maintaining. This is NOT in line with my goal of losing and getting to my goal weight (which is why I have knocked myself back to Week 1, as you can see - it helps me look forward, don't judge me), but for the amount of food that has danced shamelessly in front of my face, I'm giving some credit where credit is due. I haven't had a short-term goal to motivate me lately, and I have been tallying how many pumpkin- and gingerbread-flavored things I can fit in my mouth at one time. That is an exaggeration. I expect you to have caught it. Though if you didn't, I will not fault you.

Why, you ask? Because Jen is addicted to sweets.

Story time. Last night, about an hour after I went to sleep, I woke up and my body felt like it needed to bust its way out of a very tight box. For those of you who don't know (which I think is everyone aside from myself and Josh and now one of my co-workers, who gets the same thing), I have self-diagnosed restless-leg syndrome, which is apparently a real thing. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it wakes me up (and I am VERY difficult to wake up, as Josh can attest to). Last night, I woke up having that tense sensation over my entire body. WHAT. So Josh had me do some focused breathing, and it helped at first, but I could not shake the tension out. So my gut reaction was to get up and get some sugar in my body, since I had cut back DRASTICALLY the last two days and was kicking some major WW ass. I had a granola bar and about half a cup of ice cream. And fortunately/ helped. It may have been subconscious, who knows. All I know is I slept soundly the rest of the night.

This is not good. This means my body is addicted to refined sugar to the point where it is waking me up and saying HEY, PLEASE FEED ME CHOCOLATE, KTHX. It could be all in my head, but regardless, it supports the idea I had to give up sweets for the entire month of January.

Don't look at me like that, Knives Chau. I gave them up for half of Lent in 2010 and I can do it again. Also, Josh is giving up alcohol. He has a beer or two most nights so this will be difficult for both of us. But we are determined. If we can't survive a month, then...I don't even know. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Which will be NEVERRRR.

Let's play the "What do these things have in common?" game. Ready?

1. My age.
2. The number of full miles in a marathon.

I'll help you out.

It's 26.

FMLLLLL. 29 PP was hard enough to stick to, and now I get 26!? The good news is I'm allowed to ~*up it*~ to 29 on weeks I feel like it. Which is fine, I guess - I can pre-plan for the more difficult weeks of the year, i.e. holidays, vacations, and my birthday - but still. Granted, I have been doing AMAZINGLY the past couple days, save for the sweets shot straight to my heart last night around maybe with some more produce thrown in, I can survive and actually lose. We'll see how this goes.

Going to take my measurements tonight, and I'll start posting my food logs again too. I'm in it again, and I'm not going to let that leftover pizza or birthday cake in the office fridge, my roommate's baking rampages, or chocolate fountains get in my way. Speaking of which:

Lmfao the man's face. But yep, those beauties were in the lobby of my office building yesterday. Good thing I was just returning from my WW meeting armed with new tools and a re-vamped program to explore, or else I may not have had the willpower to say no. Sent a very nice FML text with the photo accompaniment to Yurani, Josh, and Danielle. Yurani texted back with my exact thoughts: "I would take off my clothes and swim around in it and put my face under the spout." Paraphrased, but I'm way too honey badger to check the text for the exact wording, let's be real right now. My ENTIRE HOLIDAY SEASON has been like this, you guys. October-December is a sweets addict's NIGHTMARE, and I am no exception.

I realize this entry is super disjointed and rambling, but to be honest, I like it. I'm feeling like my old self again. I feel like I've been so stressed lately to organize everything perfectly that I just want to kind of let go and take care of/be myself. So that's what I'm going to do, content organization be damned.

Next time I'll talk about how my running progress is going, recipes I want to try, and some more specifics about my goal weight and how, as well as when, I plan to achieve it.
Tags: bitch whine complain etc., danielle, fml, food challenges, holidays, josh, nighttime snacking, nsv, pointsplus, recommitting, sweets, ww meeting, yurani
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