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OK, I promise it's not actually as bad as that. Since our last episode, I've been pretty much maintaining. This is NOT in line with my goal of losing and getting to my goal weight (which is why I have knocked myself back to Week 1, as you can see - it helps me look forward, don't judge me), but for the amount of food that has danced shamelessly in front of my face, I'm giving some credit where credit is due. I haven't had a short-term goal to motivate me lately, and I have been tallying how many pumpkin- and gingerbread-flavored things I can fit in my mouth at one time. That is an exaggeration. I expect you to have caught it. Though if you didn't, I will not fault you.

Why, you ask? Because Jen is addicted to sweets.

Story time. Last night, about an hour after I went to sleep, I woke up and my body felt like it needed to bust its way out of a very tight box. For those of you who don't know (which I think is everyone aside from myself and Josh and now one of my co-workers, who gets the same thing), I have self-diagnosed restless-leg syndrome, which is apparently a real thing. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it wakes me up (and I am VERY difficult to wake up, as Josh can attest to). Last night, I woke up having that tense sensation over my entire body. WHAT. So Josh had me do some focused breathing, and it helped at first, but I could not shake the tension out. So my gut reaction was to get up and get some sugar in my body, since I had cut back DRASTICALLY the last two days and was kicking some major WW ass. I had a granola bar and about half a cup of ice cream. And fortunately/unfortunately...it helped. It may have been subconscious, who knows. All I know is I slept soundly the rest of the night.

This is not good. This means my body is addicted to refined sugar to the point where it is waking me up and saying HEY, PLEASE FEED ME CHOCOLATE, KTHX. It could be all in my head, but regardless, it supports the idea I had to give up sweets for the entire month of January.

Don't look at me like that, Knives Chau. I gave them up for half of Lent in 2010 and I can do it again. Also, Josh is giving up alcohol. He has a beer or two most nights so this will be difficult for both of us. But we are determined. If we can't survive a month, then...I don't even know. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Which will be NEVERRRR.

Let's play the "What do these things have in common?" game. Ready?

1. My age.
2. The number of full miles in a marathon.

I'll help you out.

It's 26.

FMLLLLL. 29 PP was hard enough to stick to, and now I get 26!? The good news is I'm allowed to ~*up it*~ to 29 on weeks I feel like it. Which is fine, I guess - I can pre-plan for the more difficult weeks of the year, i.e. holidays, vacations, and my birthday - but still. Granted, I have been doing AMAZINGLY the past couple days, save for the sweets shot straight to my heart last night around midnight...so maybe with some more produce thrown in, I can survive and actually lose. We'll see how this goes.

Going to take my measurements tonight, and I'll start posting my food logs again too. I'm in it again, and I'm not going to let that leftover pizza or birthday cake in the office fridge, my roommate's baking rampages, or chocolate fountains get in my way. Speaking of which:

Lmfao the man's face. But yep, those beauties were in the lobby of my office building yesterday. Good thing I was just returning from my WW meeting armed with new tools and a re-vamped program to explore, or else I may not have had the willpower to say no. Sent a very nice FML text with the photo accompaniment to Yurani, Josh, and Danielle. Yurani texted back with my exact thoughts: "I would take off my clothes and swim around in it and put my face under the spout." Paraphrased, but I'm way too honey badger to check the text for the exact wording, let's be real right now. My ENTIRE HOLIDAY SEASON has been like this, you guys. October-December is a sweets addict's NIGHTMARE, and I am no exception.

I realize this entry is super disjointed and rambling, but to be honest, I like it. I'm feeling like my old self again. I feel like I've been so stressed lately to organize everything perfectly that I just want to kind of let go and take care of/be myself. So that's what I'm going to do, content organization be damned.

Next time I'll talk about how my running progress is going, recipes I want to try, and some more specifics about my goal weight and how, as well as when, I plan to achieve it.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 15th, 2011 08:00 pm (UTC)
I do enjoy reading your blog posts. I didn't feel like this entry was disjointed. It was kinda random, but amusing. But keep on writing. I enjoy reading. I feel bad when I nag, so just look at this as a constant standing nag to always write in your blog.

Why is Josh so determined to give up beer? And one or two a night? Dang, yo! Why not just cut it back to two or three a week instead of cutting it out completely?

I remembered a question to ask you after you signed offline but now I forgot it again. FFFFFFUUUUUUUU. :'( .. Maybe it'll come to me, whoa, it'll come to me (again).

Dec. 15th, 2011 08:04 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I did kind of try and keep the same stuff together, but I have so much I need to cover about the last few weeks I just kinda spewed out a bunch of it and hoped for the best, lol. I'll bookmark this as the nag thread, how's that? :p

He is to beer as I am to sweets, though not nearly as bad. He just kind of does it subconsciously, you know? Gets home, grabs a beer to wind down. The point is to eventually cut back on our respective vices, but we want to take on the month challenge. And directly post-holiday-season seems like a great time to do that.

Omg I don't know that song. And I feel like I should.
Dec. 15th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
I'm happy to nag you via e-mail and what not too. My nagging powers are far and great. Just ask Tom ;)

I don't think beer is necessarily bad. Tom has cut down considerably on his beer consumption in the last couple months. Also, less beer means less money, so it's a win win. I don't think I'd want him to give it up completely. I certainly wouldn't mind, of course, but I wouldn't expect it. Alcohol isn't really THAT good for you, but there's lots of other bad things you can drink instead - some far worse than beer. I wish I liked red wine more because I know that's so healthy. And I'm Jewish too. What's my excuse??

Thank goodness Tom doesn't drink IPA's like Joe did. This makes kissing him post-beer a lot more tolerable.

And you know the song. You totally know the song. When you have no light to guide you, and no one to walk beside you, perhaps it'll come to you, whoa, it'll come to you ;)
Dec. 15th, 2011 08:40 pm (UTC)
I guess we will have to compare notes. ;x

Oh no it's not bad at all, just like sugar isn't totally bad either. I definitely don't want either of us to give up what we love forever, but we both lean on them a little too much for either of our likings at the moment - especially when we're stressed. So we're using this as an opportunity to find other ways to de-stress. :o) Lol I'm not really a fan of red wine either. Once in a while I find one I enjoy, but I don't like it enough to justify the teeth stains. Plus white wine is fewer points.

Ohhh Christ. I was totally thinking literally. How embarrassing. Speaking of IPAs, that is what Hanson's beer is going to be. Which I also do not enjoy, but Josh likes them. Wheat beers and stouts FTW.

Edited at 2011-12-15 08:40 pm (UTC)
Dec. 15th, 2011 08:46 pm (UTC)
White wine is fewer points? That's cool. I wonder why, though, since white wine tends to be sweeter.

The only beer that I can somewhat tolerate besides ciders and fruit beers (which people would argue are not really beers) is the Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. And, it still tastes like beer.

I would be perfectly happy going the rest of my life never drinking another bottle of beer. Unfortunately, I wish I had the same distaste for beer that I do for soda. That would make my life easier :(

I saw that Hanson beer thing. Uh... is there really a market for that?
Dec. 15th, 2011 09:07 pm (UTC)
Yep! 4 oz. of red wine is 4 PP and white is 3. I think red has more alcohol by volume. I honestly don't know, but that's what I'd guess.

Aw yeah those aren't beer, hahaha. ♥ I like them too and I'll order them if I'm not interested in anything else a bar has, but for the most part I like the beer flavor with a hint of whatever the extra kick is. Otherwise I'll just order juice. ;p

You need to try this beer at Cigar City Brewery (hey-o, it's in Tampa) called Good Gourd Almighty. It's a variation of the regular Good Gourd, which is a pumpkin ale, but the Almighty is aged in a whiskey barrel and taste like straight-up liquid pumpkin pie. I doubt they have it right now so you may have to wait until next fall, but it is my favorite beer of all time. And the best pumpkin beer by a mile. Or seven. Hands down. Yum.

Aw. :[ I'm lucky, I don't really have a big taste for soda. I think it's the carbonation. I feel like it's interrupting my flavor time, lol. It hurts, man!

Um...we'll see? I'm irritated, I won't lie. But I'll try it, you know I will.
Dec. 15th, 2011 10:35 pm (UTC)
Hmm.. that's interesting about the more alcohol. Also, boo that your points went down. The little bit that I was on WW I had a hard time limiting it to just 29 :'(

Did you know Tom was in WW for a few months? Random fact.

Tom and I almost went to Cigar City Brewery. I bet Tom would LOVE that pumpkin beer. Me, on the other hand, would still think it tastes like beer. I remember Tom and I tried a Pumkin Ale (I forget what brand - something unusual), and I was like, "Eh... it tastes like beer." And Tom was like, "What the heck? You can't taste the pumpkin in it? It's like swimming in pumpkin!!!"

I'm not a big sweets person, so I guess we're even. I do like chocolate, though, and tend to have a bit too much of that. But cookies? Eh. Cakes? Eh. Pastries? Meh. However... brownies? YES! Chocolate covered raisins? Yes Yes Yes!!1 Cookie Dough? Keep it away from me!!! Like, seriously, I can't buy cookie dough, because I'm not capable of eating it in a mature manner. I wish you could buy cookie dough in a small package, but you can't. Also, you're technically not supposed to eat it anyway.
Dec. 16th, 2011 01:10 am (UTC)
Yeah tell me about it. I have had to make some changes, but only little ones really - one fewer cup of coffee a day and then 1 other point I have to give up. I'm definitely learning, but it's tough. I did not know Tom did WW - why'd he quit?

Dude no I am telling you...the Dogfish Head Punkin Ale tastes like beer with a TINY hint of pumpkin spice. This Good Gourd Almighty? Pumpkin. Total straight pumpkin pie. The REGULAR Good Gourd tastes like beer, but not this stuff. The only pumpkin beer I've had that comes even somewhat close is the Shipyard Pumpkinhead, but I think that tastes like honey and not pumpkin, so IDK. GGA = best. You must drink it! CC also has this Oatmeal Cookie beer, it's dark, either a porter or stout. DO IT hahaha. I love that place...I need to go back.

I could live off of cookie dough, I'm pretty positive. Oh delicious raw sweet goodness.
Dec. 16th, 2011 05:57 am (UTC)
How much coffee do you drink? I usually have barely one cup. I'm such a wimp.

Tom stopped going to WW b/c it was too much money a month and he wasn't seeing results. He did it through work.

Aww man, now you got me wanting to try this pumpkin ale. Maybe the next time I'm in ybbor.

What's your icon a picture of.

OH - I also remembered what I wanted to ask you. Did you end up going to the STC holiday party? If so, what did you think of it?
Dec. 16th, 2011 03:30 pm (UTC)
Lol. Wellll it depends. Yesterday I only had one cup, but today is a two-cup kind of day. Usually no more than that.

Ah. Well, was he following it or just kinda half-assing it the way I've been doing it lately? Haha.

Um yeah you need to, but like I said, I doubt it will be around now. You may have to wait until September/October next year.

My icon is a house with Christmas decorations. :p I didn't go to the party, no. I didn't want to spend the extra monies...or points. I ran instead. I don't regret it.
Dec. 16th, 2011 02:43 am (UTC)
I need to make a table like yours. I had a bad end of the summer / beginning of autumn, pretty much going from my birthday until a few weeks ago. I'm back on track right now and am hoping to keep it that way. Good luck with your goals and with maintaining!
Dec. 16th, 2011 03:31 pm (UTC)
It really does help. Feel free to steal my layout! Google Docs is so awesome.

You can keep it up! Holidays are so tough, as I have learned the hard way this year (again), but they are a big opportunity to show what you're really made of, too!

Thank you, lady. ♥ And thanks for reading!
Dec. 16th, 2011 03:51 pm (UTC)
Sorry I didn't respond earlier. I read this but yesterday was one of those days where "I can't do this...I'm a damned fraud. More eggnog!"

Stream of consciousness suits your posts even better. Reading posts like this, it's your voice I hear in my head.
Dec. 16th, 2011 03:58 pm (UTC)
Lol it's OK! I always avoid the healthy blogs when I'm at that point too. Which, sadly, has been most of this holiday season.

Thanks George. :o) I like my crazy stream of consciousness. When the words and stories and things just pour out like that, I know I actually care and even if it sounds a little cray, it's me, and it's better than sounding contrived or that I'm scraping for something to say. It's a lot easier to blog when I'm actually making good choices. Otherwise it's a lot of, "Well, I screwed up again today, soooo talk to you guys later..." Lol. And no one wants to read that.

I realized I got so many more readers when I was blogging more actively and making some legit progress with my weight loss. It makes sense - who wants to read a blog where the blogger just complains about being lazy? Nobody.

Edited at 2011-12-16 03:58 pm (UTC)
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )


wedding: kiss close-up
Jen is losing it.

About Me

32-year-old Nutella activist, full-time grammar enforcer, and part-time runner. I live for cupcakes, Walt Disney World, terrible puns, the '90s, Harry Potter, spelling bees, pumpkin anything, fluffy animals, and B horror films. I write.

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