September 7th, 2010

wedding: kiss close-up

Week 1, Day 6

OK well technically it's Day 7, but I can't sleep so it's still Monday to me. Plus I want to update with my weigh-in tomorrow and two entries in a day is just right out.

Anyway. This is going to be a fairly long one, so bear with me.

First off, I finished the book I was talking about the other day. And let me just say, um...WOW. It was seriously the most powerful and fitting message regarding my own weight-loss and fitness challenges that I have ever read. The author, Lisa Delaney...I mean, she just talks about SO much stuff that I deal with every day, namely thinking about food waaaay more than the average person does and how tough it is to re-program your mind to think differently. How it's NOT just about the numbers on the scale - not at all, actually - but about the way you use food to combat negative emotions, even when you don't realize it. How putting yourself at the top of your priority list is SO important...not only to make you ultimately happy, but so that you can be the best version of yourself to give to the people you love as opposed to a half-assed version who gives everything they think they have to offer but are miserable on the inside. She talks about learning to say no, to not equate food with relationships, to deal with comments from and attitudes of people around you, and to take a compliment. From what running meant to her to the age she started her new life, to her pretty much exact height, sense of humor, and extremely similar career goals...she has even dug food from a trash can (yes, I have done this - albeit when it was still wrapped and/or only surrounded by paper, but seriously). I think what I could relate to most was her pointing out how I am different from everyone my journey is not going to be the same as someone else's, and how no one has the right, aside from me, to tell me how I want to live MY life. Freaking awesome.

So yeah. If any of this stuff sounds like it'd benefit you, pick up her, immediately. Seriously. VERY eye-opening. Here's her website - there's a pic of her on there, and she looks so healthy and happy. Love it.

I finished reading the book on the way home from Miami, so when we stopped at Steak 'n' Shake, guess what I got? A salad. With grilled chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, and light raspberry vinaigrette (on the side). I write this in here not for a pat on the back, but because I kinda realized something sitting in that greasy diner...something that made me not the least bit jealous that Ricky was having french fries and a cookies-and-cream milkshake, or that Josh was having those silver-dollar hash browns that I love. I looked at my salad and thought, "Man, I get this a lot." It's my fallback food at a restaurant - I can pretty much guarantee that a grilled chicken breast and some lettuce is going to be around in most restaurants. But seriously? It gets BORING. So I was thinking about it and it came down to whether it was worth it to fall back on that salad if everything else was INO (aka "It's Not an Option" - Lisa Delaney's mantra that I am loving so far), in every restaurant situation, ever. Would I be OK with that the rest of my life if it meant being in the body I really want?

And I shocked the crap out of myself because the answer was yes. Before that moment at Steak 'n' Shake today, I was resentful and bitter about that fallback salad. But after I realized that might just be what it takes to get where I want to be, I have so much more peace about going out to restaurants. I even told Melissa, "You can't bring sweets in my house anymore; at least, not right now." Maybe I should have been nicer, but I didn't really want to be nicer...if I asked, "Can you not bring sweets over?" it would give her the option of saying no...and even though I know she wouldn't say no, I finally decided to put me first with regard to that. I mean, I know that I can't avoid it everywhere and that it's not Melissa's fault or Steak 'n' Shake's fault that I am obsessed with sugar...I think right now I just need want to have that safe haven of my home to give me somewhere to go without sweets temptations, and I think it is fair for me to want and even demand that. And if not, oh well. Lisa talks about how it's OK to be selfish that way, so I'm running with it. Melissa, if you read this, sorry I was kind of mean about that. I love you and your pies.

Anyway, tangent aside, I had a bit of a revelation today, as you can see. It made me resist asking for a bite of Ricky's Milky Way tonight (I know right, like the shake wasn't enough :p). It made me get my butt to the gym (and run 3.25 miles again!) after a pretty...failtastic weekend. I mean, it could have been a LOT worse, but after Friday night, I didn't really count points that diligently. I had tons of chips, Cuban food (and omg was it amazing), sushi (also amazing), Ghirardelli chocolate (the new pumpkin-spice flavor is, um, evil), etc.

However...I also bought yogurt and fruit to keep in the hotel room, got my fallback salad at lunch yesterday when most people got burgers, drank ONE (55-calorie!) beer, and asked for my pumpkin-spice frappuccino and latte (two different days, jeez; and yes, if you can't tell, I am obsessed with pumpkin - this entry contains only the first three of many pumpkin-related treats that populate my autumns) nonfat/light. So I did make an effort, and...I feel good about it. I was on vacation and I enjoyed every little bit of the aforementioned evil food. I didn't go to the gym yesterday, but I went today instead (I was supposed to have it off).

This weekend (and that book) taught me a lot about myself, and I am more pumped than ever to reach my goals. So much so that I fought so, SO hard for my blue sticker today, knowing that after a little bit of a crazy weekend, it may not even make a different on the scale tomorrow. But I know now that my long-term goals can't be obstructed by a bad weekend, because life isn't perfect, and every little adjustment counts.

OK I'm done rambling. I'll post tomorrow with my weigh-in. I'm kinda nervous...we shall see.
wedding: kiss close-up

Week 1, Day 7

Moment of truth...

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OK so for a weekend in Miami that consisted of (but was not limited to) Cuban food, copious amounts of potato chips, a couple Starbucks runs, and a good deal of Ghirardelli chocolate, I'd say that's pretty awesome. Not nearly what I want to be hitting on an average week, but I am definitely satisfied with it today.

This week I am going to focus on staying within my WAPs and sticking to my workouts. I want to save them for the weekend, because Yurani will be in town, and I also have dinner at my boss' house Saturday night and am not sure what they are having. So I want to be prepared for that.

Not much else to report - I think I said it all in my entry last night. :o) Looking forward to tackling this week!

Edit: Pretty awesome commercial that promotes women's fitness as beautiful. Thanks for sharing, hekidanjo!

wedding: kiss close-up

Week 1, Day 7 (Part II)

OK so I am breaking my one-post-a-day rule today, but for a very good reason.

I saw Machete last week and besides being freaking amazing, it had some really gorgeous ladies in it with bodies that I, as a straight female, admittedly drooled over. Not to the point of wanting to starve myself to look like them (let's face it - they have nutritionists, trainers, and a crap ton of money), but in a way that motivated me enough to get off my butt and go to the gym a few times a week, and not to shove cupcakes in my face. They looked fit and healthy, and that is extremely is something I want to continue to strive for for the rest of my life, so I can't help looking to them for a little bit of a boost.

So without further ado, here's a little mini picspam for you.

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