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Week 5, Day 7



GENERAL
Name: Jen
Age: 25
Height: 5'4"
Body frame: Small
Highest Weight/BMI: 152/26.1 (overweight)

STARTING/CURRENT STATS
Starting weight/BMI: 134.6/23.1 (normal)
Last week's weight/BMI: 133.2/22.9 (normal)
Current weight/BMI: 129.2/22.2 (normal)
This week's loss: -4.0
Total loss: -5.4

GOALS
Fitness: Run a half marathon (Feb. 27)
Goal weight #1/BMI: 130/22.3 (normal) [$150 in makeup/beauty products] Met 02/07/2011
Goal weight #2/BMI: 125/21.5 (normal) [My goal reward for this is a secret. ;p]
Goal weight #3/BMI: 120/20.6 (normal) [$250 (possibly $350) in new clothes]

Goal shirt/jacket size: XS-S
Goal jeans size: 4-6
Goal dress/skirt size: 4/XS-S

















TOTAL BANKED ACTIVITY PP REMAINING
0/16

TOTAL WEEKLY PP ALLOWANCE REMAINING
12/49

STICKER EARNED
Yellow



I'm not sure I can do justice to how amazing it felt to see that number on the scale today. I freaking did it - I met my first goal. It took five weeks to lose those 5.4 lbs., and maybe I am barely into the 120s, but I don't care - I am there. And it feels amazing. I was looking in the mirror last night in the bathing suits I bought for my September 2009 cruise (yes I took pics, but those are for my goal post! :p), and even though I was about the same weight then, I couldn't believe how much better I look now. I can see lines where my abs are. Slight lines, but lines nonetheless. It's pretty awesome. For the first time since - I dunno, ever? - I felt excited for the warm weather to get here so I could go to the beach. I can't really describe how it felt to feel that comfortable in my body. It's a new feeling for me and it makes all this work worth it.

And while I am definitely celebrating my butt off, I have to admit - I am scared. This is really the furthest I ever get in my quests to lose weight. Once I break into the 120s, I get all haughty and lazy, and I gain right back the next week...then I usually don't start caring again until I surpass 135. 130 is definitely my "comfortable" weight. Luckily I have been able to stay away from 140 for the better part of the past few years, but I want 130 to be my new 140. I really really do, and I'm afraid I'll get lazy and comfortable again. And while I do like the way my body is starting to look, I know I'm not done. My hips and thighs can be smaller, and I know I can reach 120. I have always known my body is capable of it.

I remember when I was 13 years old, specifically, I was keeping track of how much I was gaining during puberty. One day, I wrote "I weigh 120!" at the top left corner of my entry. It seemed like SO much then - a year later, I was at 140. I was a size 9/11 in eighth grade, I distinctly remember. And now I am in size 6 jeans and I want SO badly not to let that go this time. I really do feel like this time, my journey is different...I finally feel like I am doing it 100% for myself, and I am hoping that keeps propelling me forward - that even on my laziest and chocolate-craving-ist days, I remember that I am not done quite yet. But I am done obsessing over my weight. I am ready to reach my goal, and I am seriously not going down without a fight. I have come too far for that crap this time...been through way too much these past few months to let negative emotion and things I cannot control get the best of me. And if I plateau before 120 and am working my butt off while staying active and not starving myself? That's OK too. I am confident I will be able to tell if my body is done losing.

I want to thank you guys for sticking with me through this. I know I've "started over" so many times. In reality, I've spent years trying to lose the same 15 lbs., and have had my fair share of ups and downs. I'm aware that the fact that I'm actively trying to lose weight when I'm not even overweight can be eyeroll-inducing to people on the outside...so I want you all to know how much I appreciate the support from individuals who truly understand that, while the size and number are important, it is more about how I want the choices I make with health and fitness to reflect the way I look at life in general - that it is a journey full of ups and downs and happiness and letdowns, but it is always worth the struggles. I have had a lot of hard lessons lately and am very grateful for all of them, because they have made me a stronger and better person and helped me realize how many great things I truly deserve. It's difficult to see that on some days and especially lately, but at the end of the day, I am really proud of what I have been able to accomplish and that I am able to pick myself up after the dust settles and not take second best for an answer.

♥ Mushy part's over, hah. There's some bad news too (isn't there always?). I nommed a bunch of chips and some dip at 2:30 a.m., as you can see from my food journal. That was a pretty big fail, but luckily my body was like, "It's fine, you ran eight miles, eat your damn chips and go back to bed, psycho." Thankfully the dip is gone (had the rest for dinner...may not have been the best decision, but I counted it), and the chips are almost gone too.

I have rambled enough, but yeah. I'm ecstatic, and I am determined to stay that way this time.

Comments

( 52 comments — Leave a comment )
rhapsodyinpink
Feb. 8th, 2011 05:21 am (UTC)
Congrats!!! :D
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 05:40 am (UTC)
Thank you! ♥
celestialcure
Feb. 8th, 2011 05:30 am (UTC)
CONGRATULATIONS, JEN!!!

Yes, I had to break out the obnoxious font for you because Edit: Apparently obnoxious font isn't working! FAIL! Well, regardless, I'm SO proud of you! YOU DID IT! This is an important milestone on your journey: first goal met!!!!

And while I am definitely celebrating my butt off, I have to admit - I am scared. This is really the furthest I ever get in my quests to lose weight. Once I break into the 120s, I get all haughty and lazy, and I gain right back the next week...then I usually don't start caring again until I surpass 135. 130 is definitely my "comfortable" weight.

LKDFJSLFJ YES. I UNDERSTAND THIS! That's why I'll feel better the lower in the 150's I get, because 160 was my "comfort weight" for so long, with no panic setting in until I hit 165ish. So I COMPLETELY understand. And honestly, with how much fire and moxie you have running through your veins right now, the adrenaline rush of realizing you hit goal #1, I really think that'll help sustain your drive to keep pushing yourself this week. You've tasted this weight before, and you've experienced the crushing disappointment of what happens when you become complacent about your weight (I speak from personal experience here, too), like, "Oh, this is easy!" No, it's not. It's among one of the hardest things to do; sustainable weight loss is nearly impossible. But what keeps that fire burning inside, what drives us to keep going is knowing what will happen if we DO get comfortable. And you've been there, and you don't want to go back there, so let that assist you in your journey this week. Remember the high you're feeling right now, but also remember that disappointment, and how you NEVER want to experience that again.

/soapbox

I understand noshing on the chips, too! I did the same thing on Friday, when I couldn't sleep! Haha, it was at 2 pm, which is the equivalent of the middle of my night, too! But like you said, your body worked hard this week, and you were fine.

♥ SO proud of you, Jen! Keep kicking ass and taking names! Ride this high, and anytime you feel doubts setting in, don't feel like working out, or feel your resolve waver perhaps during the weekend, remember the high, and remember the disappointment that you are NOT willing to experience again.

Love you, sweetie!

Edited at 2011-02-08 05:33 am (UTC)
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 05:50 am (UTC)
LOL aw I was excited for obnoxious font but I will bust out MIB instead:



I am pretty stoked. And yeah, I do understand the cusp o'doom (sounds like Cup o'Noodles, yummm, anyway). It's easy to tell you to be proud and GTFO with the cusp, but yeah I know exactly how it feels. Thank you for the encouragement. I always have this post to come back to, and I don't want to come back and report a gain next week after all these musings. So I vow not to!

Yeah I mean, it sucked, but I pushed it aside and totally forgot about it during the day. I knew if I dwelled on it I'd let it affect my day and my weigh-in, and I couldn't allow that BS.

Thank you, seriously, you rock. I am so proud of you too, especially this week with all the wedding temptation and craziness. Love you mostest. &heatrts;
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enjoyyourbunny
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:43 am (UTC)
Excellent!
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:45 am (UTC)
Thanks hun!
losingpounds
Feb. 8th, 2011 10:21 am (UTC)
Congrats on the weigh in and meeting your first goal! You did wonderfully! :)
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! And great job to you for getting into an awesome gym routine and kicking butt, especially recently!
yzztik
Feb. 8th, 2011 11:34 am (UTC)
Congrats again! That is an amazing loss.

135 was my wake up call too last time I buckled down and actively lost weight (when I did WW), and now 130 is my threshold but I really want it to be 125. I just can't seem to stay under that. Ugh! But I'm not trying that hard because I am active and under 130, but maybe if I tried just a tad I would be and stay under 125. My biggest problem is the fat around my stomach. That is the part I hate and why I don't feel comfortable in a bathing suit. There are a ton of pics of me teaching this weekend and I totally look pregnant. I think a big part of that is my awful posture, so I need to fix something.

Be careful about using the "I just ran 8 miles" excuse too many times. I gained 15 pounds training for a triathlon that way. I only let myself use that excuse the day I run them, and all bets are off on race day, but then I get back to being sensible the next day or I know I'll gain.

See you tonight! I'm looking forward to our run.

Keep up the great work!
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC)
You can do it. I bet that will be the first area to start shrinking if you start being a bit strict about food again! I will push you! :o)

And oh yeah, no, today that 8 miles is long gone from my mind. I am still proud of myself but I have 10 miles to think about now, and then the 13.1! I think I am in the right mindset, thankfully.

I am looking forward to it to. I have to remember to wear my headband over my ears. Oh I have your book and headband to return to you.

And thanks. ♥
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hekidanjo
Feb. 8th, 2011 11:37 am (UTC)
That is so very, very amazing. With all the background and emotion that makes what you've done all the more inspiring. It's so very easy to get trapped in our own mental limitations and instead of falling prey to that with the 15 lbs that you've spent years to lose, you kept working. That's heroic right there.

So, now just don't get cocky. You're almost there. ;-)
Sure there's moments but just keep doing what you are doing because you are an inspiration.
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you George! :o) And YES I can't get cocky. That always gets me in trouble, lol.

♥ I am grateful to have you around!
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lyndszy
Feb. 8th, 2011 01:25 pm (UTC)
You are doing awesome, and you can tell that it is about more than the number on the scale, but that is just how you reach it :)
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you sweetie. :o) It's true. I think my mindset now is so much different than it was before when I was trying to get to my goal - I really feel like it is about the journey and the lifestyle, and while I will never deny wanting to be 120 lbs. and a size 4 for vanity reasons, I can honestly say I would never choose to be that unless I worked at it and did it the right way. ♥
danielleisms
Feb. 8th, 2011 01:26 pm (UTC)
So proud of you! I was going to text back last night and say "Don't celebrate with food!" but I got distracted and I'm glad to see you made the right choice. :)

You're in that final stretch of the last 9lbs now and it will be hard but you'll have to fight harder! rawr

Also, yay for meeting your goal this week since Saturady we are going to the mall! Like I said, there is a MAC store, Sephora and the Nordstroms has a ton of make-up counters. Like I mentioned I don't personally like heavy coverage for makeup and have heard people say MAC foundation products cause them to breakout but I think we can go there for mainly eyeshadows and possibly blushes. Sephora carries Nars which is my favorite brand of blush and they also carry Laura Mercier which has the tinted moisturizer which is what I use because I don't like much coverage. PLUSSSSSS we can look for a dress for me! WOOT! :)

I will e-mail you with the rest of my nonsense re: the weekend. haha.
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 07:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I did end up nomming those chips but I soaped the rest and today my office weigh-in with my co-worker told me it was fine and good job for soaping them, just stay OP! :p These last 9 will be very tough but I know I can do it. I just have to be diligent. I am very grateful for this half coming up. I think it will be the key to getting to goal.

Yes so true! I don't like the heavy coverage either which is good because I don't have a TON of money to spend...forgot to update that it's $200 not, oops, and that includes dinner ingredients and gas and hair stuff, lol, so maybe $125-$150 for makeup? If I get out better than that maybe I'll buy a new outfit. :p And yes I am excited to help you find a dress too. Hooray, can't wait!
yzztik
Feb. 8th, 2011 04:19 pm (UTC)
Ok, you have inspired me. I am going to try again to get down and stay under 125 and get rid of my baby fat bump. I know it will be hard, but I gotta do something. I am going on a cruise in May and I want to feel comfortable wearing a swimsuit then. I still don't want to do WW, but I gotta do something. I think I just need to focus on strength training and maybe start swimming again (Jason has gained some weight and just 2 weeks of swimming he's lost at least half that). Ugh. I feel so lost lol Maybe we can push each other? I can push you in your running and you can push me with this stuff. I need some kind of challenge, I don't know. Maybe I'll start using LJ as a food journal or something.

I know it may be too soon, but what are your plans for after the half marathon? You gotta keep running, so we should find you another goal. It's a good idea to set one (even if you don't register) before this race so you don't feel this void once the race is over. It can be anti-climatic because now you've reached your goal and then what?

Ok, I am babbling. So I'll go now lol
danielleisms
Feb. 8th, 2011 04:54 pm (UTC)
Maybe the three of us could find a relay type run? I'd say maybe a tri-relay but I don't think any of us would be up for the swim? I want to make a new running goal too! I don't know if I want to do a half distance b/c of my knees but I'd be interested in anything up to 15k at this point. :)
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(Deleted comment)
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks! And hey, you are my weight twin - if I can do this shiz, so can you! ♥
20lbsless
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:22 pm (UTC)
Dude.. this is a serious accomplishment!

As someone who is always losing the same 15/20 pounds herself... i hear you on all of this.

But you're rocking it. And not only losing. But being active as well.

Awesome job. :)
jenislosingit
Feb. 8th, 2011 06:49 pm (UTC)
Yeah man losing weight is hard when you're not fat, lol. It's so easy to be like, "Well, I'm not fat, this one cupcake won't make a difference." And I think the important thing is knowing that in the grand scheme of things it won't and enjoying it, but also holding myself accountable - guilt-free.

Thank you so much for the enouragement. I am very proud of what I have accomplished and very determined to keep going.
snorkack
Feb. 8th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC)
CONGRATULATIONS JEN


So so happy for and proud of you. I would ramble more about it but I'll let the sparkles speak for themselves. You can totally meet the rest of your goals bb, I believe in you. :3
jenislosingit
Feb. 9th, 2011 12:36 am (UTC)
OOOOH SPARKLY! Thank you sweetie, muah! ♥
theftonomics
Feb. 10th, 2011 10:33 am (UTC)
I know I'm incredibly late to the party but...

AMAZING JOB! Congrats!

I finally feel like I am doing it 100% for myself, and I am hoping that keeps propelling me forward - that even on my laziest and chocolate-craving-ist days, I remember that I am not done quite yet. But I am done obsessing over my weight. I am ready to reach my goal, and I am seriously not going down without a fight. I have come too far for that crap this time...been through way too much these past few months to let negative emotion and things I cannot control get the best of me. And if I plateau before 120 and am working my butt off while staying active and not starving myself? That's OK too. I am confident I will be able to tell if my body is done losing.

Completely awesome mindset... I wouldn't change a bit of this wording to apply it to myself and anyone else who struggles. So proud of you!
jenislosingit
Feb. 10th, 2011 03:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much Jaime! :o)
( 52 comments — Leave a comment )

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jenislosingit
Jen is losing it.

About Me

32-year-old Nutella activist, full-time grammar enforcer, and part-time runner. I live for cupcakes, Walt Disney World, terrible puns, the '90s, Harry Potter, spelling bees, pumpkin anything, fluffy animals, and B horror films. I write.

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